How my dog is out to get me.
I own a small dog. Her name is Candy. This is her, here:
I walk her everyday, and she often tries to embarrass me. She barks at strangers and frightens children. She digs up neighbor’s gardens. She tries to eat dead things. Standard dog activity.
The neighbors know her. But as soon as I let someone else walk her, I hear that someone was petting her, saying “Oh, she’s so well-behaved now!”
Seriously, Candy? Why do you do this to me?
(She has a Twitter, by the way: @Candy_The_Dog)