January 2012
61 posts
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Oh my god
HELP ME I JUST SAVED AN ESSAY I’VE BEEN WORKING ON ALL NIGHT BUT I DON’T KNOW WHERE I SAVED IT OR WHAT I SAVED IT AS AAAAAAH.
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(I'm secretly a vigilante).
Friend: Emily why do you have boxing hand wraps in your bag?
Me: I get into a lot of street fights.
Friend: No you don't, Emily.
Me: Then why do I have hand wraps in my bag?
Friend: Why?
Me: I get into a lot of street fights.
Friend:
Me:
Friend: NO YOU DON'T SHUT UP.
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The Vocabulary Wizard is called upon.
Random person: EMILY. What's the difference between 'transmutation' and 'permutation'?!
Me: Transmutation is the act of changing state or form. Permutation is changing the arrangement or linear order of a set.
Random person: Thank you!
Me: Nessun problema.
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Leaves me alone with my water bottle.
Friend: Emily, are you okay?
Me: What? Yeah, I'm just a little dehydrated...
Friend: Really? How can you tell? Are you just thirsty or-
Me: Well it has a lot of symptoms other than that, I mean I'm lightheaded and my skin-
Friend: Oh my god that's so cool. -Leaves-
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I'm the reason we can't have nice class...
Teacher: A box, a pyramid, and a cone. What do they all have in common?
Me: ...They all reflect light.
Teacher: No, they don't.
Me: Then they are made of dark matter. Is that it? They're dark matter?
Teacher: No. You're thinking too hard about this.
Me: BUT IT'S-
Teacher: Calm down!
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Studying for Astronomy oh dear Jesus there as so many stars and I can’t tell one from the other someone please help me.
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abhorticulture asked: what is the best periodic table you've ever seen?
"Oh my god he bit my shoulder."
Hey guys did you know it is TMI Tuesday?
You can ask me stuff
and I will answer them instead of studying for Chem like I should be.
And to sweeten the deal, here is a zebra biting a girl who, in my opinion, was asking for it:
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Sydney, baby. WHY.
Man I just wrote a character analysis essay on Sydney Carton from A Tale of Two Cities and I almost forgot how SAD THE ENDING OF THAT BOOK WAS.
SYDNEY YOU ADORABLE DRUNKARD
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SACRIFICE YOURSELF FOR LUCIE SHE’S NOT EVEN THAT GREAT.
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B.P.R.D. Kids Camp
rapscallionvawn:
http://www.bleedingcool.com/2012/01/22/bprd-training-camp-why-its-cool-be-kid-portland/
I think most of you will agree that this is utterly wonderful.
Oh my gosh if I was a 10 year old in Portland I WOULD BE ALL OVER THIS.
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I have so much to do this week.
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Young ≠ In a Relationship.
Lady: “No, you should totally go. There’s food, and you could bring your boyfriend, if he wants to come-“
Me: “I HAVE A BOYFRIEND?!”
Lady: “What? Oh, I just assumed-.”
Me: “No. No I do not have a boyfriend.”
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Overheard in the bookstore.
Old Lady 1: Ooooh, Margie, look at this book!
Old Lady 2: What is that thing?
Old Lady 1: It says it's a.... a meerkat?
Old Lady 2: I've never heard of one of those.
Old Lady 1 : Me neither. They must be new.
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I just got a new Periodic Table poster. I just want to stare at it all day.
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My life
is apparently a joke to these people.
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Creys.
I made myself a bowl of cereal
but I am out of rice milk.
I was probably a full eighteen inches taller than my ceramics instructor, and she was really afraid of me. So I basically could just make whatever I wanted and she would be okay with it.
Ceramics Teacher: Emily, why did you put a handle on a bowl?
Me: I wanted to make it idiosyncratic.
Ceramics Teacher: What are you working on now?
Me: A vase.
Ceramics Teacher: ...It's kind of off center.
Me: I know. It has character.
Ceramics Teacher: What about this one, why is it-
Me: Character. I make things with character.
Ceramics Teacher: Okay. Whatever you want is fine.
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Not like I've been studying the brain since the...
Someone was telling me about something they did in their Bio class involving the brain.
“Let me just give you a little background on how neurons work…”
Me: “Oh do tell.”
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3 minutes before class starts.
“Hey did you do the reading for Chemistry last night?”
Me: “Yes.”
“Can you explain it to me?”
Me: “It was about the history of Atomic Theory…”
“Yeah. Can you explain it to me before class starts?”
Me:
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Hey guys it’s TMI Tuesday and I really don’t want to work on this essay so YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO.
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Halloween memory with Julie.
Me: Ugh I hate all these menial costumes for women. How desperate does a young lady have to be to want to wear one of these attention-starved atrocities...
Peer named Julie: Yeah, they're really bad.
Me: -jokingly- What are you gonna be this year? A sexy cat?
-Peer named Julie doesn't hear me-
Julie: What?
Me: What are you going to be for Halloween?
Julie: Oh, a sexy cat!
Me: .....Okay.
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Doesn't.... everybody?
So I just auditioned for a musical. It went well.
One of the directors told me that I make a lot of facial expressions.
I said “thank you”
but afterwards I realized I had no idea what they meant by that.
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icebergs-in-paradise asked: ohmygod i love katamari damacy. that game was my childhood.
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A heart to heart with my blog.
Okay Tumblr, if you don’t want to post what’s in the queue, just tell me. Just let me know, okay? Because when you keep it a secret until now, it just ends up creating a frustrating situation for us all.
I am not saying it’s your fault, Tumblr. But I need you to listen to me. You have one job. Please. Do it.
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“This book gives me more information about penguins than I care to have.”
– In 1944 a children’s book club sent a volume about penguins to a 10-year-old girl, enclosing a card seeking her opinion.
She wrote, “This book gives me more information about penguins than I care to have.”
American diplomat Hugh Gibson called it the finest piece of literary criticism he had ever... 